Longing
by Harlahartall
Summary: Leia is missing her father as she is planning her wedding. (Fluff/slight angst)


" _Here, you stand on my feet and take my hand."_

" _Daddy, I'm too heavy!" Leia Organa giggled, placing her tiny feet onto her father's large ones._

 _Bail Organa feigned discomfort. "Oh! You are so heavy, my dear!" He bent down and picked the child up by the crook of her arms._

 _The six year old laughed exuberantly as she was spun around to the gentle music coming from a music box on her nightstand. Her mouth was wide with a smile that matched her father's. The two were happy and together, unbeknownst of what was to come to them in thirteen years._

—

Getting married was something Leia had never planned on. There were far better things for her to spend her time on, and she definitely couldn't picture the idea of spending her life tied down to one person without getting extremely enervated with them. Marriage was for boring people, she'd said. Sure, as a child she occasionally imagined what her future wedding would be like- she decided it would take place under the Chinar trees in the back of the palace- because it was something her aunts had frequently promoted to the young girl as something to look forward to when she turned eighteen. These day dreams didn't come frequently though, and diminished into a childish memory of the past as Leia grew older and her heart went to the rebellion.

And then Han proposed to her as the war ended. She'd accepted in a heart beat, of course, but Leia was quickly made aware of all of the stress and hassle of wedding planning. And because she is as stubborn as a mule, Leia had claimed all of the responsibility for planning it because "it couldn't be that hard".

A frustrated sigh exited a messy haired and disgruntled Leia as she sat on her couch, surrounded by various papers about chairs, flowers, and gods only knew what else at that point. She had always thought that when the war ended, she maybe could finally get some sleep and return to a normal schedule, but it seemed that the universe was against her going to bed before 2:00 AM.

"Leia?"

She turned to the dark hallway that led to her bedroom and saw a tousled looking Han. "Sorry," she apologized. "I'm just trying to figure out catering for the reception, which I know sounds stupid, but is actually so stressful and-"

Han moved to the couch, noticing that the only light in the room was a dim lamp. "Hey, Hey, relax,"

Leia closed her eyes and slumped back. "Relax isn't in my vocabulary."

"Well it is in mine," he leaned back so he was even with her and turned his head to the woman. "You don't have to stress over all of this, we can still hire someone-"

"No! I've got it all under control." Leia defended.

"Right. Well you don't really look under control, sweetheart," Han raised his eyebrows knowingly. "You know what I think? I think there's something bigger happening that's making you stress over the little stuff."

Leia did her best to keep a straight face, but Han had just driven right through her walls, just like he always somehow did. She hadn't realized it til that moment, but then it all made sense. Of course there was something else; it was Alderaanian tradition for the bride to dance with her father before she danced with her husband, as to metaphorically hand the girl off to her new spouse. But in the back of her mind, Leia knew that that wasn't possible for her. And it made it feel like she watched her home get destroyed all over again.

"Hello?"

Leia was snapped from her thoughts with a nudge from Han and her chest suddenly felt tight.

"W-what?" Her voice faltered. Her brain was torn between ignoring her problems as she always did, or letting everything down and telling Han. This was something she'd vowed to keep inside. Her brain said ignore it, but her eyes quickly filled with tears and her body clearly had chosen telling her fiancé.

Wordlessly, Han wrapped a large arm around her and pulled her into him. His hand ran up and down her back soothingly. He didn't even care what the issue was, he just wanted her to feel okay.

—

The months between her breakdown and the wedding quickly passed. Leia almost felt like she was teetering on the verge of another one as she stood, clad in Alderaanian marriage robes, in one of the back rooms of Cantham house. She realized it was a mistake to let the holonet stream her wedding to billions of viewers across the galaxy- Leia felt like everything was wrong with the wedding and she was almost sure she was going to receive backlash for the next few months. She felt like she had invited too many people, and gotten the wrong food, and the wrong flowers, and just about anything else that could've possibly been the wrong choice.

All she wanted was to grab Han and run away, run to her childhood home and get married under the trees out back. She wanted her parents and her friends and even her aunties, but she couldn't have any of it.

A knock on the door startled the woman back into wedding mode. Leia took a breath and walked down the long hallway to the large chapel, silently nodding and smiling to one of the workers from the house.

"Ready?" Luke asked, approaching from the other end of the hallway.

"Why aren't you in there?" Leia asked with an alarmed tone. She couldn't handle anything else at that point.

Luke smiled kindly. "Han told me you were upset about your father and... Well, I know I'm not him, and I know I can't give you him, but I figured I could help out for the day."

Leia didn't know if her heart was aching or swelling- perhaps a combination of the two. Every emotion hit the girl at once; Gratefulness, because she realized that she was surrounded by so many people that genuinely loved her. That was something she didn't know if she'd ever experience again. She also felt heartbreak- she loved what Luke was doing, but it didn't bring her father back. The gesture was still appreciated, though. Leia also felt extraordinarily overwhelmed with the whole situation, which was good and bad, she supposed. With wet eyes and a thankful smile, Leia took her brother's arm and walked in.

—

Being married was certainly a strange feeling, mostly because she didn't feel any different. Leia was most definitely in love with Han- he made her feel happier than anyone else. But she thought it was rather funny that after the ceremony on the way to the reception, she'd asked Han how he felt, and the two agreed that they really felt like nothing changed. They were practically married before the wedding anyways.

For the second time that evening, Luke approached his twin. Swallowing her pain, Leia huffed and took his hand, doing her best not to think about what was happening.

"I'm sorry if I'm not a good dancer," Luke chuckled at one point to break the silence between the two.

The siblings stood in the middle of the floor, all eyes on them. Luke held leia's right hand in his left and placed his left hand on her upper back.

"I'm... thank you, Luke, for doing this. You don't know what it means to me." Leia avoided his eyes.

Luke gave her a toothless smile. "It's no problem. You're my little sister, it's the least I could do,"

For what felt like the thousandth time, Leia blinked back tears after being struck with a memory of her parents. This one from when she was aged nine or ten, and they all sat in the front parlor of the palace, looking through old holos of Bail and Breha's wedding. Leia secretly found it rather boring, but she would have never told either one of them that. In the snapshots the young couple didn't look too different from Han and Leia, from what she could recall. They wore the same robes and stood in a similar building, and shared the same grin as the new married couple did in the recently taken holos.

Leia cleared her throat. "This is strange, isn't it? People are just staring at us." She giggled a bit as Luke's comment caught up to her. "And we're the same age!"

The music changed, still maintaining a slow tempo. "Well, one of us has to be older! I'm done with you, sister," Luke spun her out on one arm to where Han stood patiently, a grin on his face.

"What are you all happy about?" Leia joked, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling herself close.

Han wrapped his arms firmly around her back. "Nothin', I'm just happy. Are you?" He craned his neck to look at her.

Leia scanned the room, not sure of what to look at. Sure, she was distraught that none of her family was there to witness her marriage, yet she knew they all were somewhere watching. She could just feel it, she could feel their presence, perhaps through the force. And though she longed to dance with her father, she felt so, so incredibly blessed to have the family she'd built over the last few years. She met eyes with Chewie, who waved and growled happily. She saw Threepio, who Han was reluctant to invite, but she decided it was only fair. She saw various friends she'd made working in the senate, And some people she couldn't really recall inviting but didn't bother worrying about it. She soon she saw her brother beaming at her, clearly proud to have cheered her up, and then she returned her eyes to Han.

"Yes."

—

(A/n: happy Valentine's Day, folks! I hope you had a good day, whether you were alone or not. I don't know if this is really any good or not, I've had the idea for a while but wasn't sure how I wanted to execute it. Let me know if you liked it or not please, it really helps me for future writing! Alsooo I just made a tumblr, so if for some reason you want more of me I'm on there as harlahartall. I hope you enjoyed this little Drabble!❤️)


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